I took the other post off of here. It was funny but figured it might be too mean but since I didn't have a Christmas present to open this morning because my stock didn't arrive I will repost it here.
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Mark Murphy, my employee, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Lombardi Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, ******, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, ****less, hopeless, heartless, fat-***, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, Chicago Bear loving sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where's the Two Day Shipping??