A word of warning

[I asked LT to delete my acct]

My wife bought me a new electric armchair for my arthritis. She told me it was the latest invention that did EVERYTHING. If you wanted a cup of coffee, you only had to say give me coffee and it brewed the perfect cup. If you wanted your legs raised you just said raise my legs and it does it. If you want a massage you just say give me a massage and it does it. I had an itchy nose and as I went to scratch it my wife said no, just say it and it did it. In my amazement I muttered "well bugger me", and that is all I can remember laying in the casualty room at the hospital !!

 

[weeds]

ARTHRITIS - a/k/a Early Onset Rigormortis

Gotta ask Bill, is it a male or female armchair?

 

[lambeaulambo]

Can this machine put asbestos in your doghouse? I digress..lol

 

[Pokerbrat2000]

Here is a picture of Bill, after his next wish.

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[Voyageur]

Funny about the chair. Last week, I got a recliner that's designed for disability. It's motorized, and even raises to a point where you're almost standing up, instead of having to wrestle your way up on the arms. Amazing. It also has massage. quite a few different points, and variations as well. Then there's the heat, that can be used with or without the massage, and you can choose where the heat is applied.

I'm just glad it's not voice activated. Sometimes my responses aren't for general audiences.

 

[Pokerbrat2000]

Funny about the chair. Last week, I got a recliner that's designed for disability. It's motorized, and even raises to a point where you're almost standing up, instead of having to wrestle your way up on the arms. Amazing. It also has massage. quite a few different points, and variations as well. Then there's the heat, that can be used with or without the massage, and you can choose where the heat is applied.

I'm just glad it's not voice activated. Sometimes my responses aren't for general audiences.

I have a massage chair as well....best money I have ever spent. Mine doesn't rise up, to lift me out, be reclines to zero gravity. I can relate to some of the things that pour out of my mouth as it grinds into sore muscles. Guessing if I had neighbors, they would think I was getting some....action that day!

 

[weeds]

I'm still using a conventional recliner that unfortunately still requires all of the gutteral grunts and sound effects I generate when trying to get off of it. Those sound effects seem to be a recent thing and come out of nowhere when I'm trying to as much as get out of my car.

Speaking of sound effects, it's a leather chair that unlike the cloth chairs do not absorb sound if you know what I mean. So, every little "boofer" seems to resonate like my family room is Carnegie Hall and the lovely Mrs. Weeds, like all wives, has super sonic hearing, so the admonishments come from her up in the kitchen ... I suppose, a spooked dog barking might tip her off. You know how it is, women NEVER boofer ... but they sit near dogs that do. Damned good thing that mine smell good.

 

[Voyageur]

I'm still using a conventional recliner that unfortunately still requires all of the gutteral grunts and sound effects I generate when trying to get off of it. Those sound effects seem to be a recent thing and come out of nowhere when I'm trying to as much as get out of my car.

Speaking of sound effects, it's a leather chair that unlike the cloth chairs do not absorb sound if you know what I mean. So, every little "boofer" seems to resonate like my family room is Carnegie Hall and the lovely Mrs. Weeds, like all wives, has super sonic hearing, so the admonishments come from her up in the kitchen ... I suppose, a spooked dog barking might tip her off. You know how it is, women NEVER boofer ... but they sit near dogs that do. Damned good thing that mine smell good.

Y'er killing me Weeds! Y'er killing me! Boofer? ROFLMAO

 

[Pokerbrat2000]

Damned good thing that mine smell good.

WE must have the same system!!! Mine smell like flowers and nobody else seems to acknowledge it!

A good fart story, for anyone interested:

The Fart That (Almost) Altered My Destiny - Anna Lind Thomas

Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be...

annalindthomas.com

 

[weeds]

WE must have the same system!!! Mine smell like flowers and nobody else seems to acknowledge it!

A good fart story, for anyone interested:

The Fart That (Almost) Altered My Destiny - Anna Lind Thomas

Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be...

annalindthomas.com

Oh my god, that story was brutal. One time my wife came out of the bathroom and had sprayed Rose Glade ... never knowing when to shut up, I said "Holy cats ... did someone crap in a rose bush". Yeah... poor Gizmo got blamed for that odiferous presentation too.

 

[weeds]

Y'er killing me Weeds! Y'er killing me! Boofer? ROFLMAO

I dated a girl in high school who would just refuse to say "fart" and it kinda stuck...

 

[I asked LT to delete my acct]

Is Gizmo your imaginary friend ?

 

[Voyageur]

I dated a girl in high school who would just refuse to say "fart" and it kinda stuck...

This reminds me of our oldest son, when he was a tyke. We were sitting in a restaurant, and had just ordered food, when a woman at the table next to us passed gas.

Our son stared at her. My wife, having heard it, and seeing him touched his shoulder, to get his attention.

"It's nothing." My wife said to him, whispering. "She let a poopser!"

Our son responded immediately, in a loud voice; "No Mom! She farted!" His finger pointed straight at the poor woman.

 

[Pokerbrat2000]

A human fart can be louder than a saxophone solo.

I found that out at my Nieces school concert.

 

[OldSchool101]

Funny about the chair. Last week, I got a recliner that's designed for disability. It's motorized, and even raises to a point where you're almost standing up, instead of having to wrestle your way up on the arms. Amazing. It also has massage. quite a few different points, and variations as well. Then there's the heat, that can be used with or without the massage, and you can choose where the heat is applied.

I'm just glad it's not voice activated. Sometimes my responses aren't for general audiences.

We used to have a Common chair at a Bar Downtown. It was similar to a dentist chair on hinges. The Bartender would come around the Bar and seat you and they’d make about a 1.5 Oz drink in your mouth. Then on a 3 count they’d toss you forward onto your feet!

Maybe you should trade up @Voyageur?!

 

[Pokerbrat2000]

We used to have a Common chair at a Bar Downtown. It was similar to a dentist chair on hinges. The Bartender would come around the Bar and seat you and they’d make about a 1.5 Oz drink in your mouth. Then on a 3 count they’d toss you forward onto your feet!

Maybe you should trade up @Voyageur?!

They called those upside down Margaritas at a bar in Milwaukee.

Im college we did a lot of beer bongs. Large funnel, attached to a long clear hose. Hold your finger over the hose, as someone fills the funnel with beer. Once it is full, hose in mouth and funnel held high. Too often we ran out of beer and it would be "pour whatever alcohol we could in funnel and repeat."

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[OldSchool101]

They called those upside down Margaritas at a bar in Milwaukee.

Im college we did a lot of beer bongs. Large funnel, attached to a long clear hose. Hold your finger over the hose, as someone fills the funnel with beer. Once it is full, hose in mouth and funnel held high. Too often we ran out of beer and it would be "pour whatever alcohol we could in funnel and repeat."

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I’m elated you lived to talk about it

That looks like a Toga Party I attended in the 1980’s (except the attire).

 

[OldSchool101]

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There’s some chairs lying around in our Diesel shop. You just reminded me of the most Wonderful idea of how to transform into drink servers this Christmas. Thank You!

 

[weeds]

Is Gizmo your imaginary friend ?

No poopie-head ... that would have been Harvey, the 7-ft rabbit.

This would have been Giz, if I had a real pic of her *sigh* ...

 

[Voyageur]

No poopie-head ... that would have been Harvey, the 7-ft rabbit.

This would have been Giz, if I had a real pic of her *sigh* ...

She's a cutie.

 

[weeds]

We used to have a Common chair at a Bar Downtown. It was similar to a dentist chair on hinges. The Bartender would come around the Bar and seat you and they’d make about a 1.5 Oz drink in your mouth. Then on a 3 count they’d toss you forward onto your feet!

Maybe you should trade up @Voyageur?!

Boy, do I feel like a rank amateur after reading this.

 

[weeds]

She's a cutie.

Reminds me of Buggy's picture where he's breast feeding a kitten. (I might be making that up)

 

[weeds]

This reminds me of our oldest son, when he was a tyke. We were sitting in a restaurant, and had just ordered food, when a woman at the table next to us passed gas.

Our son stared at her. My wife, having heard it, and seeing him touched his shoulder, to get his attention.

"It's nothing." My wife said to him, whispering. "She let a poopser!"

Our son responded immediately, in a loud voice; "No Mom! She farted!" His finger pointed straight at the poor woman.

My son was maybe 10, we were all loaded up to go somewhere backing out of the driveway, and junior peels one off in the back seat of the car and that baby rumbled admirably on the leather seat. "Son, what did I say about doing that when your Mom's around?" My wife kicks in all but immediately, "So it's all right if I'm not around?" I thought, damn, now what ... all I could muster was "Well yeah, it's what men do."

 

[I asked LT to delete my acct]

A human fart can be louder than a saxophone solo.

I found that out at my Nieces school concert.

I farted once in church during the quietest point in the service, sitting alone, the nearest person being at least 20 feet away so I couldn`t blame anybody else.....lol I changed parish shortly after.

 

[I asked LT to delete my acct]

Reminds me of Buggy's picture where he's breast feeding a kitten. (I might be making that up)

It was my watchstrap for **** sake.